How Discomfort Birthed Fashionably Equal

I had my picture-perfect plan of what my 32^nd year of life would look like and God laughed at me. This past year was far from perfect and nowhere near what I had planned. Every year I pick a theme for the upcoming birthday and in my mind, I named my 32^nd year my “transition” year because I had just finished grad school and had goals to meet. Little did I know that my year of transition was going to become my year of discomfort. Months after graduation I was filled with uncertainty, without a job, not settled into my own space, hit with rejection over and over again, and I gave up. I fell into a depressive state, and didn’t even know how to identify what I was going through. “I’m a happy and strong person, I can’t be depressed” I would tell myself. However, nothing changed until I decided to get back into therapy and do the work.

When I say I had to do the work, I mean I really had to face myself and go head-to-head with my feelings and my thought process (yuck). I had fallen short of my expectations and cringed when people would ask me about where I was working or what I was up to because I had bought into the idea that having an MBA meant that I should have a high-paying job and be “living the life”. The judgement and criticism felt overwhelming but the hardest part was working through the shame that I carried and learning to shift how I respond to life. I had to be in this place of discomfort in order for God to redirect me because let’s be honest, I thought my worth was based on my accolades and how successful I became. I was stripped of my identity and everything that came along with it. Interestingly enough, while wrestling with all of this discomfort a new circle began to form organically. People who saw me, the me that was always there but I had yet to meet, they helped build me up and support me throughout the year. My superficial perfect world had crumbled and I was given a chance to rebuild and finally meet the woman I was meant to be.

I poured myself into the only thing that brought me joy and comfort, this blog, and it was the stories of all the women I interview that helped me find my purpose. This blog was everything that I needed; the encouragement, the vulnerability, the authenticity, the joy and support that flooded the pages. I had created an uplifting and welcoming community, a safe space for women to be themselves.  Through the pain and discomfort, came wisdom and with wisdom came courage. The courage to write this letter to the world because suffering in silence is not something any of us should do and being vulnerable is more powerful than hiding alone.

Today, I can truly say that I am proud of my year of discomfort because it led me to create Fashionably Equal. So, as I walk into my 33^rd year, my year of joy, I encourage you to push through the pain, work through the shame and step out of that small box that you have shoved yourself into. There’s an entire world out there waiting to meet you, the real you.  

Happy Birthday to me!

Xo- Dulce

Top: ASOS

Jeans: Everlane

Flats: Jcrew (similar)

Heels: Sam Edelman 

Sunglasses: Francesca’s