(photo credit: Alex Silva)
“I realized that shame is a tool that keeps us in the dark but when you take your power back, you then give light to the darkness.”
This week we sit down with an award-winning television journalist, media mom-preneur: Kristen! Kristen has had a long career in the broadcasting industry. She started in market 165 and made it to the top 10 market. Now a new mom and entrepreneur with many exciting projects in the pipeline; Kristen talks to us about her transition from working professional to mom-preneur.
Who do you want the world to see, to know? Who are you?
K: I want them to see all of me. I want them to see a mosaic. I am a Jesus follower, a connector, a lover, a woman in process, a woman on a journey, a wife and a mom. I am a friend, a big sister and a little sister, I am light and dark… meaning I have some dark spots and I embrace them because they help push me to the light.
You seem to be very transparent and self-aware. How did you get to that point?
K: I think that vulnerability is the greatest space for people to also feel like they can be themselves. They need to see someone step out and say “she’s being herself, so that means I can be myself too.” I did go on a long journey of, pulling back layers of shame that I had been struggling with for years. In 2016, I finally felt free of shame. I realized that shame is a tool that keeps us in the dark but when you take your power back, you then give light to the darkness.
How has shedding the shame changed the way you live? How has it impacted your life?
K: It’s still a daily journey. Motherhood is new for me. I haven’t been on motherhood for as long as I have been in womanhood. While shame in my womanhood doesn’t overshadow me, motherhood is different. It is a challenge, a beautiful challenge. Shedding the shame is the foundation for me to use in every other part of my life.
You mentioned that being a mom is a beautiful challenge. Let’s talk more about the challenge, as many women come into motherhood not prepared for the challenges that they may face.
K: I didn’t know that I could have a child. I was 33 and had never been pregnant, so in my mind I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. I hadn’t practiced the most safe sex and I believe I carried shame with that. Once the shame left, I knew that I was on a faith journey and that God would fulfill this desire in my heart. At 34, I got pregnant. At that point, I realized it wasn’t just the faith to get pregnant but the faith to carry a healthy child, and have a healthy pregnancy. I was sick for most of my pregnancy and gained 60 lbs. Pregnancy is the best metaphor for life because you start off with a seed and that seed has to grow in sometimes challenging circumstances, your body is changing and serving as an incubator for this baby, and you are believing God to get your through this process. As you get closer, it gets harder and then you enter into another level of faith; there are challenges for every level of faith (get pregnant, be pregnant, and deliver). I had my birth plan: I labored for 40 hrs, pushed for 3 hrs but ended up having a C-section. It just goes to show that you can have your plan, but God had his too. You have to keep your mind on the goal: the goal was to have a healthy baby. You may not get to the goal the way that you anticipated, but with God’s help you still achieve it.
“I remember looking in the mirror and hearing a voice saying ‘be kind to the body that gave birth.’ It’s one of the most beautiful affirmations I’ve ever been given.”
More women experience Postpartum Depression than we openly discuss. You have had a first-hand experience with PPD, can you share more about that?
K: PPD reared its ugly head for me at year one of motherhood. Some women experience it earlier. I began to have anxiety, that swelled into rapid, obsessive thoughts about Lily’s safety. The anxiety heightened , when my husband and I moved Lily from one school to another. The fear and anxiety became paralyzing and the days became darker; it became much harder to self-start, self-motivate, to do simple tasks and get out of bed. The days continued that way until I sought out therapy, at the referral of a friend. My therapist and I talked about my childhood, what was going on with me presently and how to get out of this “hole”. I do believe in the acronym the FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real because much of what I was thinking was nonsensical and it sent me into a further tailspin. Being a new mom, I didn’t know if I was overthinking or if Lily was really in danger. Therapy helped me to control my thoughts and recognize my triggers.
You had your daughter at the age of 35, so what were the emotional and physical changes that you experienced after becoming a mom and how did it affect your self-esteem?
K: Ha! There were so many! I tried watching my weight but as the scale kept going up and up and up; there was nothing I could do about It. My skin changed color, but my hair was gorgeous (lol), my feet and ankles swelled. It was a lot! After giving birth, my body was not the same and I remember looking in the mirror and hearing a voice saying “be kind to the body that gave birth.” It’s one of the most beautiful affirmations I’ve ever been given. It reminded be that it wasn’t the 134 pound body that gave birth, but the 193lbs body that gave birth and I needed to be kind to that body. I had to learn to be kind to my new self. The body with sagging boobs and stretchmarks.
How did you learn to appreciate this new body and these changes?
K: I look at Lily, and I look at why I did it. I get to see the physical manifestation of why I sacrificed my body and she’s amazing! I have learned to dress my new body and I wear undergarments that pull everything in place. I would say my style is still strong, sexy and bold, and I’m determined to portray that in my clothing. That shouldn’t have to disappear when you become a mom. Also, I have to think about my power as a woman, in my body that gave life. Giving birth is the most empowering act I’ve ever been a part of; God gave me this body to be able to create this miracle.
This interview has been focused on being a mom, which seems to be your number one role. Naturally that’s what we gravitated to. Did you see this being your reality?
K: No, that’s why I waited so long. I was intentional and I planned to be a mom. I did it when I was ready, I wanted to have had a foundation of some things that I needed to accomplish for myself and now I have another bag of things that I want to do. It’s honestly motivated by becoming a mother.
How does pre-mom and post-mom life combined contribute to where you are going?
K: I’m motivated by Lily’s existence because now I have a girl in this world to shape. I have a girl to be an example for. I go out every day thinking of her in my decisions and in my legacy building. I want her to see the world very big and have the mindset of “no limits” and the first place to see that is in your environment- your home.
What’s next for Kristen?
K: One project that I’m currently working on is creating an on-air academy for aspiring on-air media professionals, coming in early 2019. It’s going to answer “how do I get on-air, and how do I break into the industry?” this program will answer that for you.
K: Mom LifeStreets- a ministry for women and mothers that I honestly just stumbled into. I started narrating my days and my life lessons through woman and motherhood on my insta stories and people really picked up the hashtags #MomlifeStreets and ran with it. It’s a very authentic conversation ( I don’t always have on makeup or my hair done) it’s honest and I try to encourage as best as I possibly can.
What’s your top self-care advice for moms to celebrate themselves?
K: Be kind to the woman that gave life. Be gentle with yourself! When you are having a critical thought, exchange it for a kind thought. It’s hard to do a good job when you are beating yourself up. Women who are critical of themselves are typically aiming to do a good job. You can do the best job, with kindness.
To keep up with Kristen, please check out her website, KristenLPope.com and @MomLifeStreets and @KristenLPopeTV IG handles.
