” My favorite saying is ‘I’m just me’ because I don’t want to live up to a perfectionist standard or fit into a box that isn’t true to me.”
From an avid tea lover and comic nerd to a growing Instagram influencer, Madeline Starr is on her way to making a difference in this world. Today, we sit down to discuss how she uses her platform to break stereotypes and to create a narrative stating that she’s more than her pictures. Here’s what she had to share:
What does Fashionably Equal mean to you?
M: Fashionably equal to me means having a world where every woman doesn’t look at someone else and feel envious or inferior but to be happy in what she is wearing. It’s not just about brands making clothes for all body types but to promote self-awareness and happiness in what you’re wearing. Fashion is a form of wearable art that allows you to express yourself in that moment. Fashionably Equal to me means that you’re happy with who you’re showing yourself as. Of course, I want all brands to be inclusive so it’s easier for people to express themselves with endless options. Make it equal so everyone can have that self-love and not have to look outward and compare.
Who is Madeline Starr?
M: A constant evolution of my truest heart. Very energetic, optimistic and bubbly personality. I’m always the person looking for the silver lining in shitty situations. I’m also what I like to call a sporty-nerd. If I’m not working, I’m in sweats/leggings, no makeup and hair in a low ponytail or messy bun. I prefer to be raw, and I enjoy being me. My favorite saying is “I’m just me” because I don’t want to live up to a perfectionist standard or fit into a box that isn’t true to me and it’s a standard that I won’t achieve nor aspire to. I have learned to accept my sporty side, hyperactive side and my love for learning. One of my favorite parts of myself is my love of comics!
How did you become an influencer?
M: It happened by chance, a tea company reached out to me two years ago and asked me to take pictures of their products. They reposted my pictures on their platforms and then other brands followed. I was invited to a third-party platform that connects micro-influencers to brands and it developed from there.
Let’s talk about the life of an influencer. What’s the perception vs. reality?
M: The perception is that influencers are all living a glamorous life and getting paid a massive amount of money to promote products. Don’t get me wrong, it has plenty of perks and amazing times that have given me great memories! My story, which I’m finding is the norm among new and growing influencers, is that I’m working 9-5 in inbound marketing. My influence is a hobby at the moment, it doesn’t pay the bills. It’s an after work or weekend job- placing products, emails and being creative. This also comes with some challenges, like negative comments.
“Perfection means you don’t need to change, but in reality we are always growing and evolving.”
To build off of that, does the pressure of society get to you and do you deal with internet trolls?
M: YES! Yes and yes and yes, ha. When I first started, I didn’t get a lot of negativity and pressure but about a year ago it really started to get to me. I always have had my own insecurities, I don’t always agree with the way my body is. Sometimes I think my hips are too big or I don’t have big enough boobs, or I’m not tall enough. I know that these thoughts come from looking at models in fashion magazines. About a year ago, my insecurities kind of exasperated- I was starting to get trolls who only knew me off of pictures and started commenting. I’d get comments like “your face looks too big”, “you look anorexic”, “you look like you’ve gained weight”, “you have too big of a thigh gap”, “your cheeks are too full”, “your hips look too wide for your body”, “your smile isn’t pretty anymore”. These negative comments kept coming and I started deleting them but then I started second guessing every picture that I was taking. It got so bad that I had to take a hiatus; for four months I wouldn’t post new pictures.
How did you manage to overcome the pressure from the internet?
M: It wasn’t until I did a lot of interpersonal reflection. I began to look at Instagram in a different light. I can’t be the only one going through this. It’s ok that I have insecurities but Instagram can be dangerous if you let it control your world. I had to set limits on the amount of time I would spend on it and who I’d follow because I wanted more body positive, energetic, happy people to follow versus the superficial. I align with those who are promoting a healthy lifestyle. I had to stop following a few accounts that wasn’t realistic to my life and I didn’t want to sit there and compare myself to these women anymore. We, women, should be celebrating and encouraging each other. It is very important to myself that I help support not only my friends and family but any woman out there!
M: Another thing that helped me was to go back my major in college, behavioral psychology. I really started looking back at fundamental behavior thoughts for human beings. How to redirect my train of thought through different skill building tools. Understanding when I feel an emotion, what’s causing it, and really dissecting it. Learning the importance(again) of being self-aware, be clear with my thoughts/emotions/behaviors towards myself and others, and accepting that I’m always evolving has helped me grow even more! Perfection means you don’t need to change, but in reality we are always growing and evolving. I never want to stop learning and becoming a better version of myself.
We all have biases and assumptions about people who don’t look like us. Tell me about the stereotypes that you have to tackle regularly in your life?
M: I think one of the main stereotypes is that “blondes aren’t intelligent”. This has been a struggle throughout my life because in reality I’ve always been driven whether it be academically, environmentally and pure curiosity. If I get pigeonholes into a “type” I do everything to break out of that. I understand technology and I have started to teach myself how to code. I’m always continuing to learn to skills, take on new projects and stay as involved in many activities as possible. People are shocked when they hear these things and it’s a never ending battle but it has also motivated me to keep learning and growing.
M: Another one, which I find strange is that some people look at me at first glance and think I’m a ‘mean girl’ based on the way I look. I fit that movie mold physically but it’s the furthest thing from my character. I’ve always been non-judgmental, accepting and open person to meet(or so I like to think!) These assumptions lead people to be afraid to talk to my or try to be a friend. It makes me sad that this is how I’m being viewed sometimes. I work very hard to try and make everyone feel comfortable and accepted.
M: I can admit there were also times when I find myself wearing clothes that fit the “American beauty” description because that’s what I’m expected to wear and I have to catch myself and step out of it. I don’t want to get lost in trying to be picture perfect. I’m not perfect and I never will be. Being perfect to me means there’s nothing to change and I never want to stop evolving and growing! This “American beauty” stereotype has also affected relationships, from friends, family to romantic partners. In the past, one or two romantic relationships, I’d find myself being promoted to their friends and family as the “perfect girl” and it feels like all of my humanity was stripped from me. It’s as if I’m a barbie or a toy to just display. It was a huge disappointment when I was treated like this, it dehumanized me and made me two dimensional. These experiences have taught me to be aware of who I surround myself with. I’ve also had to be more selective on which brands to partner with because some were looking at me the same way. Many fashion brands do this to their models, as glamorous as they look in these magazines, imagine how they are treated and talked to.
How are you using your platform to influence others?
M: My goal is to use my platform to be a voice that promotes environmentally savvy companies, body-positivity and mental positivity for everyone. This is why I love the mission of Fashionably Equal. I want to educate my followers on brands that are making a difference, whether it be philanthropic efforts, or environment-base. My followers can make a difference by a single purchase of products that serve a dual purpose. They are helping save the world. We need to understand how we continue to contribute to the carbon-footprint and how consumerism can be detrimental if we don’t take the proper actions. There are newer and smarter ways to produce clothing that will also be less harmful for the environment. Helping our beautiful environment has always been a big part of who I am. So, I hope to be able to use my platform to educate my followers and lead them in that direction.
When you partner with brands that have a conscious initiative, how do decipher between brands who are doing it for moral reasons and those who are merely doing it for profit?
M: Ideally, I’d love to get there and only work with conscious companies but we are not there yet. I start to do my own research and I find out what’s their mission, what do they care about and how does it relate to me? I also follow up and see if the brand is claiming that their proceeds go to a cause, I want to make sure they are actually doing it. I only promote products to followers that I truly believe in and have personally tried or currently use.
“We need to work as hard as we can to eliminate Body-Shaming. Internet bullying is such a negative energy that affects both sides.”
What’s next for Madeline Starr? Blog with a purpose, tell me what that means to you.
M: I have spent two years reading fashion and influencers blogs, and although we are alike in many ways, I want to create my blog that is unique to me. There’s a ton of overlap in these blogs and I want to do something I haven’t seen yet. Staying true to my psychology background and always wanting to help others in any way I can, I have a “ask me anything” where I can have an open-dialog with my followers. I will share my voice, my opinion or just be an ear to listen. This section will also have a feature that lets my followers or anyone to write to me. To share their story or ask for help/advice. I hope one day that it will turn into an open, non-judgmental, supportive community board for everyone! The other section in my blog that I’d like to highlight is the clear, transparent, blunt version of me. You will get my thoughts on personal struggles, dating, there’s no holding back, and more on the daily life of an influencer. I want people to see how human we all are and find a true connection with me as another person in their lives. I may be an influencer on Instagram but that is not my story, that’s not all of who I am. Let’s not be negative and attack each other. At no point is it okay for ‘trolls’. We need to work as hard as we can to eliminate Body-Shaming. Internet bullying is such a negative energy that affects both sides. In the end, my favorite saying is “I’m just me” and I’ve learned to accept that and I want to world to see the full Madeline.
M: As for fashion I want to speak on the ups and downs. For example, my friends and I are all different sizes and it’s beautiful! I have had experiences in the past with friends who have assumed I was one size when in fact I wasn’t. It was a weird experience to see disbelief across some of my friends faces when they realized I wasn’t always a size 0. I may be small in my sizing but that’s not for every brand! There are some brands where I am a size 0 and then there are others where I’m a size 6. I have learned that sizing isn’t always accurate and it shouldn’t reflect on how you feel. I want to be transparent and share a realistic view of what I really look like. I do gravitate towards designers that make clothes that help me to feel comfortable in my body, clothes that fit well to my body shape. I need to be true to myself. A lot of my friends think they have to fit into a box, one or the other. When in fact, just being true to yourself should be your goal.
Do you have any advice for our readers?
M: I would say that we should all challenge our stereotypes and learn about other people. I love your blog because you are providing a place to tell our stories and an opportunity for others to question their assumptions and learn that we are all more similar than different. This is truly a way to unify people. We shouldn’t have to live in a close-minded or black and white world. So, I’d say get out there, be open, make new friends and be welcoming. You’d be surprised what kind of community you’re building and how much impact it can have!
