Building Your Personal Brand

“To be successful in life you have to find those things that help you to be your best self.”

Who is Essence?

E: I am a Daughter of The King, God chaser, filled with purpose. A woman on a journey to solidifying her voice.

What does to solidify your voice mean to you, and what advice do you have for those women who are having a difficult time finding their voice?

E: When I think about my younger self I struggled with timidity and not being able to find my voice. Through the process of understanding my own personal value I became comfortable with my voice because I learned that I have a unique perspective. That unique perspective is rooted in honesty and in my faith. I believe that the first step is to truly understand how valuable you are.  What you bring to the table no one else can bring. After you’ve evaluated yourself you have to be ready to stand in your truth. That is knowing that what you think and believe matters regardless if it’s outside of the norm. There’s power in knowing the value in your words, and what you bring to the world. Having an understanding about what differentiates you from others is important because those differences is really what makes up your personal brand.

Once she has found her voice, how does she go from being in the audience to being the keynote speaker in her life?

E: Once you find your voice and sit confidently in it, you have to be able to project that confidence in your physical appearance. Creating a personal style that reflects who you are is important. There are many ways to do this; one is to find those signature pieces that allow you to be confident and comfortable in your skin. For example, a statement necklace is my signature item because it pushes me to be my best self and it gives me permission to be bold and fierce and to “say it like I mean it”. To be successful in life you have to find those things that help you to be your best self. Another key piece to help build my confidence is the color yellow. To me, yellow means to be the light when things are heavy and cloudy. God has put me on this earth to be the light. Yellow reminds me to be seen without fear, and to see the light in others. With that confidence, I am able to use my voice to be the keynote speaker in my life.

What are the barriers that keep us stuck in the audience?

E: One of the biggest barriers that people are challenged with is a lack of self-awareness. Sometimes we just live our lives without thinking twice about what makes us happy and find ourselves in unfulfilling careers, relationships, etc. Every so often it is important to be attuned with yourself and ask “what’s happening around me?” and “How do I feel?”.

E: To break this barrier is it imperative to have check-ins with yourself. Looking into yourself, understanding what you do well, what makes you feel good, and what do you enjoy doing. Every year, I have at least two major check-ins with myself. These check-ins allow me to make the necessary moves and shifts in my life. I’d suggest that every woman take a look in the mirror and have  check-ins with herself.

E: Another barrier is not acknowledging that you are in an unhealthy environment. I encourage women to find a work environment that pushes her to be her best self.  Aim to find a workplace where you are celebrated not just tolerated. A few years ago, I had a job working for a big brand that seemed promising but the environment wasn’t inclusive and I wasn’t being valued. I knew that I had to leave and go to another company that better aligned with my values and my career trajectory. It was a difficult decision but the right one. When making the decision to switch jobs I had to be mindful and be open to opportunities that I didn’t necessarily have on my radar. It is important to be open to learning new skills and being exposed to different jobs and environments because sometimes those unexpected opportunities can tie you to your greater purpose in life.

“Find a workplace where you are celebrated not just tolerated.”

How do you keep your brand consistent in all the various areas of your life?

E: When you live in your truth you don’t have to jump around and remind yourself what you said to one group or another. When I say living your truth, it’s not telling everybody your business. People blur truth, transparency and authenticity.  What I am saying is being comfortable with who you are, where you are, and not comparing yourself to other people.  I was not put on this earth to keep up with the Kardashians or the Joneses, I was put here to live the life that Essence is supposed to live. I am very mindful of that. Especially when raising a daughter, I have to be intentional about my decisions.

E: When you compare yourself to someone else, just think about when you are driving that every car is in a different point on the road. No two cars can be at the same spot at the same time without crashing. This means that you have to stay in your lane and trust your journey. God knows what he wants for you, be patient.

How do women break from this habit of comparing and begin supporting each other?

E: Sometimes you need some professional help to find the underlining triggers that lead to that behavior, other times it’s switching up your circle. As a younger woman I had a limited understanding of what the world had to offer and when I became an adult and was exposed to new ideas, experiences and people I then challenged my former reality. I began to see people doing things differently than I was accustomed to seeing: women bosses, women supporting each other, women loving on each other and wanting each other to win… man, it’s a game changer. This became my reality.

E: Changing your circle can really help you break from that comparison game. There’s room for all of us. Even when you’re competing for a role at work. If that job isn’t for you there’s another role either at that company or elsewhere that’s right for you. You need to stop thinking that the world is limited but to pursue your desires. We often create these barriers and these barriers exist because of things that have happened in our lives. We need to work through that and shift our hearts and mindset to begin to see the world for all the possibilities.

On the topic of changing your circle, how has having a “sister tribe” helped you to live in your truth?

E: It has helped me really to see myself and to see the possibilities. When you have a good group of girlfriends, often times they put a mirror up to you and help you to see things that you might not see, or you don’t want to see. Having a set of core sisters, and healthy friendships around can help you think differently.

E: Moving to Boston in 2010 required that I take a leap of faith and trust God. See, God knows what you need on the other side. He provided me with many friendships that protected me, nurtured me and covered me. I actually prayed for solid friendships when I needed community. I asked God for these friendships and he gave me exactly what I needed to help me be my true self and to be a better woman.

“God knows what you need on the other side. He provided me with many friendships that protected me, nurtured me and covered me.”

What advice do you give to women who have a challenging time trusting other women?

E: Again, with the check-ins you have to know that not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Some people are here for a season and for a purpose. Identify what a supportive tribe looks like to you. Know and reevaluate who’s around you, who’s pouring into you. Remove the barriers! Sometimes, we aren’t connecting with the right people because we might need to check our heart and our intentions. People with a pure heart attract people with pure hearts. When you are not, it’s hard for people to receive you. When you think about a good person, think to yourself, “am I a good person? Where’s my mental capacity?” If I’m sitting at the table with a fly woman, “am I trying to tear her down?” Be honest about your heart and work on that.

E: To Build a solid circle requires you to be pure with your intentions, have a good heart, be true to who you are, not trying to be somebody else or comparing, but celebrating yourself and other women.